Let's see what happens now.
Friday, May 11, 2012
I can't sleep.
Confused, confused, confused.
My head hurts. Um, figuratively.
Where do I start? How do I begin? I've been arguing with myself for the last few days. All this rush of emotions has only been around the last few days! Perhaps slightly over a week at most. Emotions, emotions... boy, its been a really long time since you've actually screwed with my head. Long time no see.
This post might no make sense. I'll just type as I go along... my point will come through somewhere.
I hope.
I have long considered myself as someone with logic and reasoning, with evidence, science and making sense in general. And that has kept me grounded in reality and logic where emotions tear others apart. Of course, I am human, and I'm not void of emotions. I have plenty. It's just that I know how to keep a grounded view, and not overthink things that don't require too much thought. I know how to solve and answer so many problems my friends have; things they fail to see because they're emotional. As I see things more clearly, not going through it, and having it grounded in logic, I make sense with my answers. Thankfully, they see it later on when they have a clearer head. And so people turn to me for advice on almost every single thing. I'm honoured, but obviously not perfect. Sometimes people have told me I'm too logical, and too much of something isn't always good. It isn't most of the time.
And of course the most major matters are usually about relationships. Be it boyfriend/girlfriend, flings, affairs or crushes, I always have a word to say when they ask. And I am clear-headed because I'm not in those influx of emotions. Yet I have been in love before, and I've liked many girls before. I've come a long way since I hit puberty and so casually liked girls. Emotions and raging hormones? I'm a lot clearer with what I want in a partner now. And that has kept me very grounded for many years. From Tiffany onwards, up to Jerrine, I may have had feelings but it was never enough to screw with my head. The closest was Kai Yih, who I was deeply attracted to. Apparently the rest of the cellgroup saw that I spoke to her differently, smiled like an idiot at her sometimes and always kept going to her home. It was very obvious to them. But still I didn't have this head-over-heels thing for her. Nearing it at some points, but not up to that point. I was still very grounded. And when I found out that she had a boyfriend the entire time without telling me, that grounded reality made it easy to go through. I wasn't really emotionally hurt as I thought I would've, discovering something so serious. I took it easily as something that I should've taken note of.
However, very (extremely) recently, I have had this giddy rush, this joyful happiness and a bunch of confusing emotions I haven't felt in so many years. I have been saying for quite some time that I'm picky, and that I want an intelligent girl that is attractive. Someone who can accept and give constructive criticism. Preferably a Christian. And for so many years, I didn't find anyone like that. Tiffany was very smart and extremely witty, but she had a boyfriend and was a staunch atheist, not to mention I moved to KL. Cindy wasn't smart, but she was very pretty and very outgoing and fun. Shana was witty and pretty. Kai Yih was very pretty, but not smart in any sense. Sze Ying was just really sweet, without much brains. Jerrine was pretty, witty and very fun to talk to. But she moved away before I really got to know her. In all these cases they had perhaps a few of the major points I wanted, but nothing else, on my part it was just attraction. For my New Year's resolution in wanting a girlfriend, I posted a bunch of qualities I wanted. It was a long list, and naturally not very realistic to find someone so easily who had all these points. Not to mention I was aware that most people don't fall for people who have the qualities in their list. A look at the girls I've liked in the past easily shows that. And same goes with so many friends who get attached around me.
So, just to recap, partially for myself, lets see wat my list was.
She must be: Physical, intelligent, funny, caring, empathetic, open-minded, liberal (does not apply to theology though), outgoing, able to drink alcohol, able to hang out and chill, tell me about my faults, logical (but it's a woman, so this is a bit subjective), be able to hang out with my friends, compromising on important matters (it is inevitable on certain matters), be able to take constructive criticism.
She cannot: smoke, take drugs, be a retard (like not knowing who Hitler is), be stingy to an extreme extent, be above 10 years older than me, be below 10 years younger than me, be 5cm and above taller than me, be an extreme introvert, be unable to hang out with my friends, be polyamorous, be conservative, narrow-minded, blindly believe a belief system with no evidence, superstitious, be an annoying whiner.
Preferably: Long hair, a Christian, same church, shorter than me, witty, pretty, able to dress well, likes the same music I do, able to help me learn new things (activities and academically), not sexually active before marriage, a reader, a gamer, well-versed in literature, a heavy drinker, supportive, carefree, wears miniskirts or hot shorts, be able to play sports.
Quite a list eh? Picky eh? Not realistic eh? Yet I think I've fallen for someone who fits almost all of this. I am talking of course, about Sharon. Yes, her, the one I've been going out with so much the last few months, and even more so the last week. Out of everything she must be and preferably is, Sharon fits almost every single one. And the only negative thing I don't want is that she smokes. Apart from that, she fits my list near perfect. I've only known her since November last year, and we were never tight until the last 2 months. She gave me a blowjob (it's a drink) on Joseph's birthday and that was our only social event together that time. I only got to know her around mid-March this year, when Joseph invited a bunch of us to go for Underoath's gig. Sharon went for it, being quite active in the gig, and excited. Then after talking about our band stuff in front of her, she said she wanted to join the band. And so, after our first jamming session she's invited to me join her for drinks at Changkat almost every week since. And we've become extremely close.
She's shared so many things about her life to me, to the point that I know her intimately. And I've done the same as well, by sharing lots of stuff. But then again, I don't hide anything about myself, so meh. Anyway, lots of friends have been asking me whether I like Sharon, and I have honestly said no. She was just someone really fun to be with. Later on as I got to know her a lot better I realized she fit practically everything on my list. Yet fitting your list does not make you like someone. I really still didn't like her in that sense, although she was getting to be a much closer friend than I envisioned. I was fine with that. Who doesn't like making more close friends? Only last week or so, did I start getting this weird giddy feeling whenever she SMSed me. It's like your heart skips a little when you see a text from her. And it stops when she calls. And due to going out so much with her, it's happened a lot. The heightening feelings of all this perhaps trace back to when Sharon and I went out to Changkat ourselves. Just both of us talking about so much, drinking and enjoying each other's company. And it heightened exponentially when we went out to Mid Valley to watch The Lady. It was fun, and really enjoyable. Just both of us walking around, talking about countless thngs, playing in the arcades, teasing each other, and watching the movie. It was like I had a girlfriend all over again, minus holding hands and that sort of stuff. Almost the kinda stuff I used to do with Zhi Xuan last time, except with much more matured minds and money. But yeah... in simplicity, it felt like I had a girlfriend all over again. And of course how I've missed those feelings. Going out on dates, clubbing, and all that stuff. Stimulating as they are, pleasurable and enjoyable; and for the girls I liked, helping to establish the attraction, it just didn't hit the same level as this simple "date". It was just really comfortable, and I had a great time. Playing shooting games and racing games in the arcade with the girl you like. How simple, yet so enjoyable. And very fun.
Staying over in her place also established a comfort level, in a sense. And adding the fact that she allowed me to take her car back to my place. Not to mention all the times I've been driving her while she was sleeping or drunk (or both). There's a level of trust there. But then again, people seem to trust me really easily, so it's not exactly unique. But still, it's there. She can make countless dirty jokes and I do the same, without any discomfort. Adding on to make me more enamoured is the fact that we've been SMSing each other everyday since my birthday, for the entire day, up to the wee hours on some days. And that stupid heart-skipping thing happens everytime I see her name.
And so goes the thoughts in my head. I picture us being together, I picture us not being friends anymore, I picture a lot of things. And they keep recurring in my head. It's a pleasure yet annoying. I have not slept well since this attraction to her. I just keep going over things said, things done, things possible in the future, things that could go wrong. I keep going over to pictures of her taken from my phone, staring blindly. I have not had this rush of emotions in years! It's weird, yet disturbingly pleasant at the same time. It's messing with my head, messing with my logic. I told others how to solve their issues, think clearly, and it's easy because I'm not clouded with emotions. Granted, I still see clearly, much more so than in previous years and certainly a lot better than many other people, but still, it has clouded me. I'm doing the things, stupid sentimental things that I laughed at. Other people could do it, sure, but for me? No. Yet here I am, doing that.
Yet there is much baggage. My reasoning and logic tell me there's issues she needs to deal with in full, and my emotions tell me I can be the one who helps her deal with this. This is just one in a series of arguments that I am having with myself. And because I am me, even my emotional aspects have some basis. So I argue with myself. And arrogant as it is to say, I am pretty damn good in arguing with others. What more myself. When I questioned myself, I answer myself. Then I poke holes in my own fallacies, if there are any. Pfft.
Haha, and if all this wasn't messing with my head enough... and I saw something.
It's just one of those stupid quotes/motivation stuff you see all the time. This was from 9gag.
Yet due to convenience of timing, it's so applicable. Divine eh? Coincidence? Stupidity? Oh geez.
But as I said, I will not actively chase a girl, wooing her with gifts, flowers and stuff. I will stand by what I said. See what happens, and if there's chemistry, then we'll see what works. I have enough clarity to stick with that at least.
And see we shall, amor.
Fallen
3:04 AM
in the grip of darkness
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Aye, right. So I went out with Sharon on Monday.
But I haven't explained why I took her car back home on Sunday. Lol. Well here's what happened. After our pool match and chilling out till 3am, I asked how I was going home since I had no car that day. Normally Joseph would drive me back but Sharon came up with an different idea. She was extremely sleepy and tired so she suggested that I take her car, drive her back home, and drive the car back to my own home. The next morning I'd drive over to her place, drive myself to work, and then she'd take the car and do whatever she wanted, since she was taking the day off. Lol, I'll admit it was an odd suggestion but it suited everyone's needs perfectly. Plus I could drive in the morning, skipping the bus for one day, which was fine by me in every way!
So I dropped her to her place. When I was driving back, a huge storm raged, forcing me to drive extremely slow. When I reached Cheras, the storm was even worse. I myself was tired, and the storm didn't look like it was ceasing soon. She had ingeniously left her iPad in the car, and I had some stuff I needed to keep dry. With no umbrella in the car I took off my shirt, wrapped the stuff and ran back to my house. In those few seconds I was thoroughly soaked, although the belongings were dry. Whew.
The next morning it was
still raining. I drove to her place early in the morning, and we had that slightly tired, slow kinda morning conversation. Her place is really near my office, so it was convenient. I dropped myself off and she went off. In the afternoon she SMSed me, emo-ing about certain plans gone bad. Lmao, after cheering her up I asked whether she had any plans. She didn't, and suggested we go watch a movie. I said sure, so long she was aware I had to work late in the gallery tonight, and had no car. She was fine with it.
After my gallery shift finished she picked me up and we headed to Bangsar to meet up with Susan and Max for dinner. Lmao. Had a great time chatting with them, laughing over stupid matters, as well as hearing about some more recent serious issues. Anyhoo, after chatting Sharon and I headed to Sunway for her to get her MC, and I thought of introducing her to Symposium, but I remembered that everyone was in Genting -.-. We went to Mid Valley to wait out for the movie. We had a little over an hour to waste.
So we went to the arcades! Lmao... Mid Valley's arcade is pretty crappy, and with the renovations, half the games were off. Geez. But still, we had a lot of fun! We played Ghost Recon or something like that, a shooting game similar to Razing Storm. Naturally I survived longer and she died pretty early on. Then we moved on to racing in Maximum Tune 2. Funny... we both chose our favourite car, the Nissan GTR. Same colour as well! Lmao. We raced, and at the last few seconds, I accidentally hit a truck, and she overtook me to win. Pfft! Meh... after that we went to Starbucks to chill and share jokes. We talked about advertisements, a lot of dirty jokes, and even classical music. I learned quite a few things. Nice.
And at last, the time for the movie had come. It started at 12:45am, and the crowd was pretty small. No surprise. It was the weekday, and it was a midnight movie. Not to mention we were watching The Lady, an autobiographical film about her childhood up to the point of our present time, and I doubt most Malaysians are interested in history movies. Michelle Yeoh seriously looks like her, and the hairstyle was practically identical. She did a great job as Aung San Suu Kyi, and her Burmese in the film was smooth and fluent. It was also historically accurate, with certain speeches being the exact words Suu Kyi used herself years ago. It cleared up some minor misinformation I knew about her and also led me to know much more about her life. Sharon picked the movie, so kudos to her. Apparently she's a history junkie like me, although on her part, certain facts and chronology could use some help.
The movie ended close to 3am. We walked and chatted as we tried to find the way back to her car, and again, she was extremely tired. Then again, so was I. She asked me to stay over in her place, so that she wouldn't need to drive me back, and in her tired state, drive herself back home. I was fine with that, but I needed a change of clothes and my laptop, so I said I'd drive myself home, pick up my stuff and then drive back to her place. She'd get to sleep in the car while I did my stuff. Funny thing was, when I reached home, my mom wasn't asleep yet. I told her I was staying over in Sharon's place and she was like "Her parents are okay with that?" and I told her that her parents were in JB, and that Sharon's mom was 6 years my mom's junior in the same secondary school, Foon Yew. Yeah. I learned a lot about Sharon on our "date", from ex-boyfriends to family and all. Apparently we're linked through several mutual places in Johor Bahru like Holy Light Church, Foon Yew and Permas.
Meh. So after I packed up my stuff I drove back to her place, and after she smoked her last stick of the night on the balcony (she's got a freaking balcony!), we went to bed.
Fallen
2:02 PM
in the grip of darkness
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Happy birthday to me. Lol.
Saturday was my birthday, and I'm now officially 23. Been in church for 9 years, been alive for 23. Was in Canada for 12 years, Singapore/Johor Bahru for 7 years and now my 4th year is in progress up in Kuala Lumpur.
I've been alive a little over 2 decades. Possibly a third of my life has passed, and maybe a quarter if I'm lucky. I was suicidal and depressed for most of my teenhood before finally getting out of that with friends and God. And now I enjoy my life, content and pleased.
The last birthday party I organized for myself was back in 2001, before I left Canada. 11 years later and I have not bothered to organize one birthday celebration for myself. I'm simply too lazy and can't really be bothered about my own birthday. So family or friends always plan it for me or celebrate with me. For that I'm eternally grateful. One thing, it is a reminder that I have people who care about me and will bother to celebrate it for me. And it's been a joy. Sometimes its just a simple meal, a treat, a gift, some money. Other times its clubs, a major meal outside or a symposium. And it's funny because I feel honoured that people would care more about my own birthday than me. I do have a "anything" kinda attitude for a lot of things, and its extremely apparent regarding my birthday.
So other people have always taken up the slack when it comes to my birthday. Although it initially began because I couldn't be bothered, now I still can't be bothered and I take it as tradition for myself. So things get tricky when different groups of friends organize things that clash. Hence, that comes the only time I make a decision regarding my birthday... what happens. Anyway, on Friday I met up with Ruz, Henry and Quen to just hang out, eat and catch up since it's been a while. It was also their way of celebrating my birthday with me. After some time in the arcade in Pyramid, we ate and walked around. Afterward Forsake Me Not had jamming in a new studio and after playing for a while Sharon went out to go to the washroom. Then she came back in with a little cupcake and they sang happy birthday for me, metal style. Hah. Jamming was productive anyway, and I headed to Sunway to meet up with Symposium, with Joseph joining us too.
The next day I didn't quite know what to do, since it was the actual day of my birthday. Symposium wouldn't be out until night, Essenism kind of celebrated and the band was celebrating later that night. So what did I do? I went for Saturday service. Lol. I haven't gone for Saturday services in a long time. But Pastor Kong was coming down today, with a couple of worship leaders from CHC SG and a few celebrities from Taiwan, so I thought, what the heck. Otherwise I'd just be slacking at home. It's funny to see my Singapore pastor referred to as a guest speaker here but yeah, he is anointed. Pastor Kong spoke about the cultural mandate, of how the tiny little vision Pastor Kong had eventually led to CHC SG becoming a megachurch, and how it influenced other churches to follow its method of reaching out to people using pop culture in their influences in the marketplace. Lots of videos were shown as testimony or memories of the time in the past, and for quite a number of them, it was a wave of nostalgia because I would see events I remembered in my mind, and the videos brought back the memories clearly. And to think a number of important church milestones were recorded and shown that day, it was a nice birthday present in a sense. Memories, one of my most treasured things. Synapses, grey matter... whatever. Seeing how far my church has come in 10 years is amazing, and to recall the times and hardships CHC SG went through was a nice reminder of how much we've persevered.
Anyway, it was a two-part service, with the second part ending at 9pm or so. I met up with Joseph and his friend Melissa during the break in between the services and we sat together for part 2. Once part 2 ended we quickly rushed off to meet up with Harish and drop Melissa back before heading to Luna Bar, where they were celebrating my birthday. Prthiv and Christian couldn't make it, so it was jus the 3 of us and Sharon, who would be coming late.
Luna Bar was beautiful as it was last time. And there were more people too, which made things nicer. However DJ Nika (or Nikla... I still haven't confirmed) wasn't around; it was some male DJ instead. We bought a bottle of tequila and downed shot after shot, which continued even more once Sharon arrived. Heh, there was one part where Sharon asked me what my wishes were. I said that doesn't tradition say that I can't tell my wishes or they won't come true? She said that I could, but just that I couldn't reveal all. I said that I've had 3 birthday wishes so far, so I'd reveal two. One was to get a girlfriend. The second wish, which was from Forsake Me Not's celebration in the studio, concerned the band so I wished that the band would become even better friends, staying united and make good music. Then I told her if she down three shots I'd tell her the third (after all, that wish tradition is fun to listen and follow but baseless). She did, and I told her... I wished for my friends to be happy. She was like "I downed three shots for that? The hell!". Haha! Well, I didn't give her the details at the time, but I guess I can take my time saying it here. I am currently very comfortable in my life. No major problems, and everything is stable. All the issues and problems I have are in regards to my friends problems. If all my friends had no problems, I would probably have none whatsoever. But I help out, and offer suggestions and a hand. Sometimes a shoulder. It affects me too, to a certain extent. So I wish that my friends would be happy, because then it'd make me even happier, and if there'd be less problems for them, through proxy, it'd be the same for me.
It wasn't hugely eventful. A lot more to deep conversations and jokes. I told Sharon about the whole Zhi Xuan story and she asked me what I wanted in a girlfriend. I told her I was picky and listed the general qualities I wanted. I wanted her to be smart above all, I wanted her to be attractive, and hopefully pretty, I wanted her to criticize me for my faults and to accept the same. And for every quality I listed, Sharon said "Like me!"... which is quite true actually. She actually fulfills nearly everything I listed on my New Years resolutions. More on that in another post. Also, somehow a bet was made that if Sharon couldn't read a certain passage in a book, she'd have to French kiss me. She claimed that she could read better drunk, which obviously didn't happen, and we ended up kissing. With tongues and all. Hahaha... and a drunk Joseph said that he has thought we were a very compatible couple for a very long time already.
Eh, Sharon looked really nice that night.
Sharon and Joseph ended up dying from all the tequila, while Harish remained conscious enough to talk, although he did puke. So despite them getting me to drink so much (and I drank more than all of them) I survived and was completely fine! HA! I had to hold Sharon when we were going off and I ended up having to drive her car back to her place. And brilliantly, police roadblocks were around. They stopped me and asked me where I was going. Then they noticed the drunk, passed out Sharon beside me and asked what happened to her. Forgetting that I was speaking to a police officer, I used casual lingo and said that she died, which shocked the officer. LMAO! I clarified that she drank too much and fell asleep. So since he knew we drank he gave me a breathalyzer test. Luckily he wasn't a moron like the last officer that gave me a breathalyzer test. Just once and he was okay. Fortunately for me my blood alcohol content was within legal limits (I cheated) and he let me off, apologizing. After reaching Sharon's home I took her to her place and after making sure everything was fine I went to Joseph's car; he'd drive back to Sunway and drop us to our cars.
Died. Yup.
And the next day, I'd oversleep for service, reaching really late! The cellgroup celebrated my birthday, and we joined a few others from Hsieh Liang's cellgroup. Faith's university friend and a zone supervisor from CHC SG also joined us. Had a great time! The cellgroup gave me cash as a present this time, probably because they don't know what to buy for me. Lol. Smart. Yellow shirts are only worn once a year =p. After lunch they dropped me off at Pyramid and I met up with Bruce and Justin at Ming Tien, again having another bunch of cakes from Bruce. We chatted for a few hours before going back to Justin's place and checking out metal bands and songs we were recommending to each other. We went to Mentari later on and chilled for a while before Joseph came and picked me up to play pool with Sharon. The rest of Symposium were going to Genting. Since it would last into the weekdays, I couldn't join.
So ended up going to SS15 to play pool, and I sucked like hell that night. I really don't know what happened to my skills! I only won Joseph once, and narrowly lost to Sharon for all my rounds. Lmao. After chilling and having some drinks, we left around 3am, and Sharon told me to take her car after driving her back home.
Why? I'll detail more in my next post. For one, I'm extremely tired now, and it kinda links with the events that happened yesterday anyway, so it'll connect. Not to mention it'll explain everything for a post that I'm writing up now, and am bloody questioning about.
Fallen
3:12 AM
in the grip of darkness
Friday, May 4, 2012
So I said I had a really packed weekend 3 weeks back. And the week after that, it didn't change. Except it was more of a packed week in general!
So firstly, Michelle was hospitalized. Lmao. I was happily enjoying my work when I received a call from Miki notifying me about it. So I went and visited her, with Justin, Bruce, Andrew and Aaron the fiancee of course. Chatted a bit, ate and talked before we went off to let her rest. Headed to Sunway and chilled with Asri and Shazana before going back home. And was that the last of my hospital visits? No! Miki got hospitalized 2 days later, but I had an important conference call I couldn't miss a second time, so I passed on it first.
Friday was Fibiee's birthday, and she had decided a few weeks earlier to make it at Shogun, a Japanese buffet. Funny thing was, everyone was super late, so for quite some time it was only Joseph, her and I eating. Lmao. The food is really nice though! I only had 5 plates, but each plate was huge, so it was enough to satiate me. A lot. Sharon came later (she was late 'cause she went to buy the iPad 3), and later a few of Fibiee's other friends came along. Regina Ong, her two sisters and her boyfriend. I vaguely knew Regina Ong as a person in church, but I never met her in real life, and neither was I aware she had siblings. But geez. All three girls are hot! You'd think it runs in the family or something. And also distracting (apart from their looks) was me trying to have a conversation on my side with Sharon and trying to hold a conversation on their side as well. Janus, anyone?
After a long, extremely filling meal and conversations with everyone, Shogun turned off everything and began shooing us out. The hell. And it was only 10pm! We took some pictures amidst more chatter outside Shogun. Earlier Sharon said she was going to Changkat alone which obviously led me to some questions and followed by her invitation to join her at Changkat to drink. So I was like eh, why not. We went to Changkat, found parking and I had to be her security guard as she changed inside the car while I made sure no one looked. Freaking funny situation to be in. You're having conversations about sex, guys/girl and ladyboys, and a chick is changing behind you while you look ahead and make sure there aren't people in the alleyway.
Anyhoo, she did look really good after changing. Much better than the Shogun attire. We went to Never Mine again and drank. When payment came, that was the nightmare. She only had a hundred US dollars with her, and no ringgit. Earlier I paid for her cigarettes and some other stuff, and now for the drinks I wasn't aware I needed to pay for both of us. I was RM10 short. Great. I tried using my debit card but it didn't work. GREAT. I had like a few hundred inside! So its past midnight. We owe money, they won't accept American dollars, and I'm 10 bucks short despite having more than enough in my debit card which doesn't work. I've never seen a money-changer open past midnight before, so when they told me to try changing the American dollars, I went off on a long journey far away...
It was quite a distance. The money changer the bar staff told me about was closed so I went along and walked across the entire road, looking for a money changer that was open. After nearly reaching the main road at Bukit Bintang I finally found it! The last and apparently only open money changer at 1am. I got my newly converted ringgit and went back to pay. And then we continued our conversation, which was the whole Zoe story and incident. Lmao. She had been pestering me to tell her the story, and I told her it would take a long time to finish, since it was so long. After hearing everything, she knew why I couldn't shorten the story. Heh. She told me about her side as well, and about her exes. Interesting stories on her part. We left around 2am, and she dropped me back home since I didn't have the car that day. Fun night! And really enjoyable to know her better.
The next Saturday I had to skip band jamming because my dad was coming up to KL, and I was meeting him up. I met him for the first time this year at USJ19, along with Uncle Winston and Auntie Mimi. Ate, chatted and caught up. Apparently Mimi is a good friend of my dad's, who saw me about 10 years back when I just came down. I can't remember her at all! Lmao! She lives right beside Bangsar Shopping Centre and has seen the gallery I work for, so yeah, that was pretty cool. When I was describing my job and stuff, she said that she knows a shop that does just that in BSC. And what do you know, it is my company!
Had some talks on the website design I'm supposed to do for my dad and some cute chatter with Uncle Winston's twins, who were still there when he left. After a long catching up, my dad went off and I went off to visit Miki in the hospital. I had no time all weekday so since I had plenty of time that Saturday I went to visit her. That place is a bloody MAZE at night. They close half the entrances and the only way to enter the kiddie rooms (how fitting for her) was through a bridge at the second floor of the main building. Geez, I found her eventually though, and we caught up. She told me about the rest of Symposium coming in, making noise, getting kicked out and stealing biscuits. Lmao. Chatted for a few hours until her cousin and immediate family came in. Around the same time I also needed to pick up my mom, so I headed off.
The next day I went for church service in the morning, left early and met up my dad and Uncle Winston and his family. I needed to take pictures of Wisma Punca Emas in Seremban, since my dad wants to sell it off. I need to design a website for my dad that will showcase this property to international people. So off we went. I have not been to Seremban in ages. Even the last visit is a blur, however I clearly remember it being the last time I saw my paternal grandparents. And the last I saw my grandfather before he died. We went inside and took pictures. The place looks like a cleaner Silent Hill, honestly -.-. We went to the rooftop to take pictures as well, and yeah, generally just to show what the building has, the views and stuff. We went to Mantin later to get some important documents with the building plans and values of the building and then as a very random afterthought, Uncle Winston suggested that we go to Broga Hills. My dad had left by this time already, and I wasn't really rushing for anything, so I said, why not?
Let's just say I asked for it. I didn't regret it though, heh. We entered through the Broga Hill Temple (I don't know what's the real name) and proceeded to climb up the hill all the way to a HUGE statue of Sun Wu Kong overlooking the hills. The last time I went was for a chance to see the sunrise over the hills with some church members. This time it was in the middle of the afternoon, bloody hot and with plenty of light. It allowed quite a lot of nice shots. I'll try uploading them on Facebook or something later. But yeah. It was a nice time spent. Heading back to Sunway, I met up with Symposium inside Justin's house. Chilled out and heard about Asri's engagement party which I had to skip due to going to Seremban. When we were heading to Ming Tien to eat and chill, Sharon called me and asked whether I wanted to join them for a movie and play Left4Dead 2. Seeing no one there was able to drive me back home, I went along, to enjoy the movie and have a way back home. Joseph was there too, and we ended up watching My Way, a film based on a true story. In the movie Korea has been occupied by Japan and some Koreans are forced into the Japanese army. When the Japanese forces lose to the Soviet Union, they end up being part of the Soviet army, and later on after another brutal battle the leader of the Japanese forces, with the main Korean head off into German territory to try to go back home. They both end up being part of the German (Nazi) army. And then they end up being caught in the battle of Normandy, which was depicted bloody historically accurate in the movie. If you play the Normandy mission in Call of Duty 5: World at War, you'll see they look almost exactly the same! Anyway, no spoilers, but the Korean dies. And instead of Left4Dead 2, we ended up chatting at a mamak about a bunch of topics for hours, forgetting about playing Left4Dead 2.
Again, a really packed weekend!
Fallen
4:35 PM
in the grip of darkness
Friday, April 27, 2012
I've finally finished reading the Satanic Bible.
At long last.
Fallen
2:53 AM
in the grip of darkness
Aiks... my last two weekends have been really packed!
Two weeks back, on Saturday I had band jamming. I blew up an amp when I played in the studio, so I had wishes to repeat that again at Chris' house. Jamming went quite well until the end when Harish and Joseph had a major argument which led to us stopping the jamming abruptly. Zzz -.-.
After that I headed to Sunway Pyramid to meet up with Ruz. It was a failed Essenism outing as everyone else wasn't free, lol. We booked tickets for Battleship and headed to the arcade, where my shooting skills haven't degraded too much. But I still got killed pretty fast compared to my normal standards. Yeesh. Anyway, Battleship was pretty damn good! A lot of people have been saying it's good but I was wondering how the hell do you make a Hasbro game into a movie? And from the trailers, with aliens? Somehow they did it, and it was very impressive. Although I must say the aliens were a bit too inconsistent on who they killed, leading to their downfall. And it normally would've never been something I paid attention to, but someone on Facebook mentioned that Battleship wasn't a movie about fighting aliens, but about seeing Rihanna's hat never fall off! And because of that damn status update, I actually paid attention... and it never fell off. Lmao.
The next day was Sunday, and I had church. Fei Yan, Rachelle and Shaun Lim asked me extremely late the previous night whether they could join me for church service. Their own church (they've been attending since they were kids) has become old and outdated in thinking, leading to extremely narrow-minded views on controversial issues such as homosexuality. But it goes beyond that. Even hairstyles are condemned if they're "too worldly". It's gone to the extent that even the cellgroup leaders of their church are ashamed to bring their friends to the church because of the views. Can you imagine that? The leaders are ashamed to bring their friends to their own church. Geez! I've long been saying that's ridiculous for her church to have such views on this and other matters, and they've been considering attending a new church. Not an easy decision since they've been attending it since childhood and they have lots of friends there. They decided to go church-hopping and see what other churches could suit them. So first up? My church, lol... City Harvest Church Kuala Lumpur.
I met them up at Sunway in the morning and guided them over to church. We were a few minutes late, but just in time for the worship songs. Abundant Life Ministries leader Paul Scanlon and his church's band had come as guest speakers and musicians, respectively for the weekend. Apparently our respective senior pastors have had a close relationship, but this is the first time Paul Scanlon's come to Malaysia and our church. After the songs, announcements and formalities, Paul Scanlon went on stage and began to preach. And halfway through, I began to laugh.
Lol... I didn't laugh because his message was bad or he preached it poorly. I laughed because of what his message was about and how extremely relevant it was to Fei Yan, Rachelle and Shaun. Paul Scanlon preached about being a church that has more rooms and more doors, in a metaphorical sense. He spoke about the ALM church as an example, where they supported people who wanted to bring in people with whom they could relate to. Former drug addicts to form a ministry for drug addicts, shy people to form a ministry that will run in smaller groups for people who don't like large crowds. Homosexuals to create a ministry for themselves. He spoke about how a church must be open minded and relevant for the people they want to reach out to; only then will they be receptive. It needs to have more rooms, each with a different function. It would let the church have a wide variety of ministries that would help people in various situations and backgrounds. Thus, if we did it correctly, we would help people. And what an honour it would be that strangers would hear of this church and say "Is this the church that helps people?"
And that's why I laughed. Every single thing he spoke about applied to Fei Yan's church. Every point he made, every example he said we should follow was like a direct blast on Fei Yan's church and what they were doing wrong. Fei Yan and Rachelle kept giving those "Oh my God" looks to each other continually, when point after point, Paul Scanlon preached about something so dear to their hearts. If, from their stories I could tell how relevant this sermon was, it must've hit home a lot harder to for them since they live those stories. When he gave suggestions on how to improve churches for this mindset and all, they immediately wanted to buy the sermon CD. Haha... quite divine! That the weekend they decide to try a new church it hits home so strongly for them.
They were also impressed by the looks and format of the church. They kept comparing billboards, screens, and the such to their own church, even saying that they "came out from a jungle"... LMAO. It was really nice to hear all this stuff about CHCKL. The City Harvest Churches I've been in have been my only churches my entire life, and I am extremely proud and loyal to them. Of course, the churches around the world all worship the same God (lets excuse theological arguments from this), but its in the City Harvest family that God has placed me in, and I'm really happy for that. And the fact that visitors are such in awe and impressed make me feel really proud that despite a small amount compared to the whole, a part of this building was paid by me.
They met and introduce themselves to my cellgroup, but they were headed off somewhere else, so they didn't join my cellgroup for lunch. Rachelle invited me to join them for a play later on and KLPAC at night though, and I thought why not? I rarely go for plays anyway... might as well give some support to the local scene. After lunch I met up with Miki at TOA since she was working there and asked me to join her after I was done with church. We talked and chatted for a few hours before she went back home and I went to meet up with Rachelle and Shaun. Fei Yan didn't join us. We met up with Amelia, a friend of theirs who I met in Laundry Bar for a gig many months back. She and her mother drove us over to KLPAC. We were pretty early, so we grabbed some drinks and food while waiting. Conversation was mostly about books, which was funny because I have no had conversations on books and their stories for a really long time. No one really reads amongst my groups of friends, and even if they do, it's usually not a topic for conversation. Apparently all of us waiting for the play to start were heavy readers. Lmao.
A few minutes before the start of the play, we heard a lot of noise from the cast members outside. I kid you not when I say they are amongst the loudest and craziest strangers I have ever met. I think it was part of the acting, but they were insane, making a ton of noise, smiling like idiots and asking whether our sense of humour was in our bags. Even inside, some of the audience which I guessed were friends of the actors, were loud and insane and very, very vibrant and expressive. I know what art students are like. Is this what drama students are like? I forgot the name of the play, but it was pretty entertaining, and the premise of the story was that this guy used to be the only funny guy in the world, relying often on puns. He wished that he could make everyone in the world funny and he went on a quest with his friend to do that. After defeating the 7 sins, he eats the punapple (yeah... pun and pineapple) his wish is granted, and the world is in chaos. Doctors smoke inside the operation theatre and joke about how "Autopsy is a dying profession". To undoes it all later on through kisses, which apparently reverse the pun effect, so he does it to everything and everyone. The whole thing was a humourous thing to make people laugh. Like the TV was just a plastic screen with the actors behind it, and the DVD player was a person, and twisting his nipple made it fastforward. I thought it was really well done! Using themselves and plastic screens (and an Xbox controller) they did the story really well and the amount of puns killed me. Seriously... there was a pun in almost every line but somehow it wasn't overdone. Nice!
As if that wasn't the way to end my day, I still went to Centrepoint to join Sharon and Joseph for Left4Dead 2. We played until 1am, and chatted about Satanism and music which ended up being them asking me about the different offshoots of Christianity and biblically sound doctrines until 3am. Geez. I was the Walking Wikipedia again. Except I was sitting down and answering one after another. Lmao. Still... glad my knowledge was put to good use!
Church, lunch, Miki, KLPAC and Left4Dead 2, with long conversations spread throughout the day. Hell, eventful, tiring but very fun!
My previous weekend was another eventful weekend, but that post shall wait, lol.
Nitez
Fallen
1:22 AM
in the grip of darkness
Friday, April 13, 2012
I kept this post in drafts since late last year.
I've been editing it here and there at times, renewing it and refreshing it to the current point of time I've been in. But I never posted it, partly because I never managed to finish it, and partly because I didn't think there was a proper time to publish it so far. Yeah, I know that I make really random blog posts sometimes that fit nowhere with my current events in life, directly or indirectly. But this, for some reason never had me publishing it.
Today, however, I think it's fitting. Not for the best reason, but because I think its apt. Earlier today a friend (considering this is sensitive, I'll leave out the name, although if you know my groups of friends, this should be pretty easy to guess) called me asking if I was free on Sunday to go to her friend's gravestone. He just died earlier today and he has been a close friend of hers since her birth, they both suffered from thalassemia and went for transfusions together regularly. When she called me she was fine, but a while later she called me again, sobbing, because she needed someone to talk to. I just said simple words of encouragement, but there really wasn't much I could say to comfort. She was scared that her friend had been perfectly fine a few days earlier, and he died so suddenly. Suddenly she feared for her life. She didn't want to die so suddenly, despite being macho a few years back telling my group of friends that she wasn't going to live very long in the first place. I think that was said in a state of mind where things were fine. Now that a harsh, sudden reality has hit, perhaps she's going through her true emotions; of what she'd really feel when death is possibly near. And this is the cause; the main reason for posting this now. Read on.
So, like I've said many times before, I really don't think much if I were to suddenly die. I wouldn't be begging for my life, worrying about what to achieve, what else I could've done, but I'd be more like "Aye, that's it?". Yeah... something along the lines of "Oh well".
If I know I'm going to die with certainty, there's really no point trying to cry and argue. I'll just let it happen. And if I really do believe in my God, I would also believe that He has the best plan for my life as well. And despite the apparent absurdity in it, this death somehow means that. This has led me to say that I really don't care much about health, life and longevity, and to just enjoy life now, without worrying so much. I've also told my friends many times that I don't really care if I die, and thus I don't fear death. "I don't care if I die" is something I've said so many times. And I mean it. I've faced death quite a few times. I've seen it upclose. It doesn't give me the same kind of shivers I see so many have. I'm not saying I want to actively end my life. Long over are my days where I was depressed and suicidal. I'm now content with life, content with the little I've done (compared to those with great success stories), and proud of who I am now. However, if the end of my life does come, I will embrace it. Faith can do that. And because I care little for my own life, I don't mind so much.
This pathetic care for my own life surprises a lot of people. Some of them wonder, aren't you a Christian? Aren't Christians supposed to value life? How can you say that? Aren't you afraid you might be wrong (regarding religion)? Yes, yes, I can, no. Yeah, I'm a Christian, a very devout one that goes to service every week, giving my tithes, helping out in charities, orphanages and elderly homes once in a while. I give to charity, and help strangers randomly sometimes. I offer my seat on the buses and LRT to those who need it. I value life, and I persuade those who want to take their life to think again. Having been through that, I know more or less the correct words to say. But does it affect whether I value my own life? I guess not. Despite being devout, a part of my depressed self still remains as this idea, or more correctly, this mindset that I don't care about my own life. If God were to one day ask me to sacrifice my life for someone I didn't know, I would, without a thought. This ignores the hypothetical part of me asking what this guy will do, whether he'll murder or commit serious sins. And yes, Christians do value life. It's one of the reasons why they're so opposed to abortion, as they take a fetus as an actual life. I do value life. And I value the life of the 7 billion people in this world more than mine. And regarding religion, am I worried I might be wrong? Hardly. My faith in God is very strong and credibly backed up. In the very slight chance I'm wrong, let's assume the major religions of the world. In Judaism, following the 7 Laws of Noah will ensure you enter heaven. Those laws are more or less moral rules and treating your neighbour correctly; kinda stuff. In Islam, the People of the Book, Jews and Christians will enter heaven too, although there's debates on what kind of specific afterlife we'll get. As for the reincarnation religions, I'll be reborn anyway, so we'll let them judge how good of a life I lived here. And as for the religions that ensure you need to do good works, I've got that well-covered, at least to my own limited knowledge. In every sense, I'm not worried if I'm wrong. And I am quite assured I am not wrong anyway. So no, I have no fears there.
That isn't my main point though. Quite a few months ago Nikke said something that gave me pause. It actually stumped me for quite a long time. Somehow we got into this topic of death, and I said what I always say when talking about the value of my own life "I don't really care if I die". Then she said "Awww, what about us? We'll miss you." It echoed the sentiments of other friends who brought this up later. While the rest were not so direct, they all basically meant the same thing. "What about us?"
Now, I pride myself on being very well versed in words and speech. I know how to talk and present quickly and clearly. I know how to make quick comebacks to insults. I know how to blast people very efficiently, and I know how to counter jokes in humour. I also know how to debate very well and give my points properly. And I've long explained, in the best terms I can, why I don't value my life. I see it as a morbid remnant from my depressed past, that remains as this. However, Nikke's question took me completely off guard, and I didn't quite know how to answer. Such a simple question, yet I couldn't answer it. The question rang in my head for months, and I kept arguing with myself. Giving reasons why I had every right to throw my life away. And then arguing with myself again why I needed to care about my friend's concerns of me being around. I kept at it for months, sometimes out the blue coming out with an argument from one side, and hours, days, or weeks later coming with a comeback against that prior argument. It was funny and stupid. But it was an important topic too.
So what's my conclusion? I'll get on to that. But first, I need to see, why are so many people saying this? Why do people value me that much? Yeah, okay, when it comes to intelligence and words, I can understand, but there's plenty of smart jerks with acid tongues. My pride on my intelligence and words does not extend to other aspects of me people would consider virtuous. I'm not a saint. Hardly. Nearly all my friends have no idea of the charity work I do with the church, and sometimes, outside of church, so I shall ignore that. My friends don't become my friends because I help others in need. And they don't even know it in the first place. So what gives? I try to be there for my friends, although sometimes I fail. I drink a lot, and get drunk sometimes. That's not saintly. I viciously blast people with my words, when the Bible tells me to turn the other cheek. Sure, I may not be a horrible person, but I've never felt that I'm such a great person to deserve such good friends, with many I know would die for me; and I, for them. It's one of the reasons I thank God so much, for these kind of people. But its funny, because a lot of these friends of mine dislike the other good friends of mine. They wonder how I can be friends with someone like this, or that. Yet they are people who are extremely close to me, despite their animosity of one another. A lot of people ask me out to hang out, to chill, to introduce to new friends. I'm not boring, but neither am I the most interesting person in the world. What makes them want to bring me along to their friends? I myself like my friends to meet other friends, with varying degrees of success, because I don't care that much about their differences (until they start hating each other).
Also one thing that eludes me is the fact that a ton of people turn towards me for help; I'm often the first person they turn to in trouble and tough times. They think of me as a good person (please, I am hardly good). While I am honoured, I do not place myself as highly they do. Yet, a friend dies? I'm asked to visit the gravestone with her. A father dies? I'm asked to attend the funeral. A friend's friend who I never met before is in the hospital? I'm asked to be there. Need a place to stay urgently? My house. Broke up with the significant other? They call me, or tell me the full details. Need a chat or a shoulder? They ask for me I'm constantly honoured and in awe. Honoured for being someone so highly regarded, but also in awe because I don't see myself in that same light. It's quite a fascination. I was reading about how some people are so tired that they're taking in all their friends problems all the time, and that they simply just give up because their problem becomes solving their friends problems. And because they fail at a few, they give up. I myself sometimes feel overwhelmed by the amount of troubles my friends go through. And yet there I am, whenever I can; there for them. Logic keeps me sane because I know I will never be able to solve every single one of their problems, but I help when I can. It keeps me grounded in reality. And yet sometimes there's optimism that I can be there to solve quite a portion of things. So far, I have never given up hearing and shouldering all these burdens of my friends, because for one thing, I am honoured that I would be considered in the first place. Secondly, it is ultimately their problem to deal with. I am merely there to help, not to solve everything for them.
So despite me not seeing myself in the same light as a lot of my friends do, apparently I am highly regarded. Thank you very much for allowing me to be in that position.
So, now, what was my conclusion? I lost the argument.
Yeah, vague. But let me clarify. I still have very little value for my life, but I will not actively try to end my life. Therefore, the main part of "What about us" is solved, because I am not ending my life proactively, and therefore I can't help it if I die. However, I do realize the main part of their concern is how life would be without me. Honestly, it wouldn't be that different. Maybe for a while, but life always goes on. But I found an analogy that was amusing yet poignant. Imagine I stopped friends from coming over to my house to stay, and/or to drink. Now while I have every right to, it'd be selfish on my part, because it offers something to them, and yet I withhold it from them. It's selfish, despite me having no wrongs doing so. My friends could simply find a new place to drink or stay over. But it remains that I withheld what I could offer. This is how I see my life. If the time comes and I can end my life, I have every right to end it. It is my own life (I'm ignoring God in the picture here... that would be a whole other issue). But I'd be robbing my friends of company, a friend and whatever it is they value in me, since I don't quite know what they value in me sometimes. It's quite utilitarian I guess.
So I conclude with the final thought that ended this argument in my head.
I myself don't place much value on my own life, so why should I be selfish and take it away for no reason, when other people treasure it more than me?
Fallen
1:19 AM
in the grip of darkness
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wonderful. The public holiday Malaysia gets is also the same day an earthquake is triggered near Aceh. That place doesn't get a break does it? Well, I guess that's what you get when your country is on plate boundaries =/.
Anyway, it was the Easter weekend earlier! As in my previous post, on Good Friday I went drinking with Sharon and Susan, that included other people. I re-read my post, and it seems I wasn't too high. The only part I left out was that Steve the Greek dude bought us all Jagerbombs too, and he told us no worries when Ethan and I tried to pay him back. Other than that, the rest is still accurate. Although I did leave out some parts.
Saturday was a lazy day in the morning, but at night I went to chill out with Symposium at Sunway. Exchanged stories, chatted and found out someone has left the virginity club! Nikke also passed me the books I asked for. A few months back the Malaysian government gave all students RM200 worth of vouchers to be used at bookstores for stationery, books and the such. Redzuan had no use for it and offered it to me and Nikke. I asked her to get me 4 books that I've been pining for a long time. The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking, The Genesis Enigma, The Fry Chronicles (an autobiography of Stephen Fry) and lastly, I Can Read You Like a Book, a book by spies that gives pointers to look out for in discerning people. I had initially thought Nikke and I were splitting it even, so I was surprised to find out she had gotten all the books. I was like, 4 books for a hundred? That's a pretty good deal. Then I found out she was going there for supplies, and the vouchers were all spent on my books. Made me very appreciative and guilty!
This made me LOL so hard.
The next day was Easter. Last year, CHCKL had a Christmas production called Chromeheart, which was about a boy who held the key to the fountain of life or something like that. He had a group of friends since childhood and when they become teenagers, it coincides with when the banishment of the bad guys ends. Good guy gets girl and good guys win the battle. There were a few impressive fight scenes and the lead actor's mother (played by Faith) gets killed, as does the main bad guy. It sets the story for part two, called Chromeheart: Revelation which details the hero's journey to train with the heroes and be on his journey. Well, the hype for it has been pretty impressive, to the point that even the local newspapers here promoted it on the front page! Anyway, part two was much more interesting, and I was surprised with the amount of depth and betrayal they put into part 2. Part two has the main hero (Ray-an) training with the warriors, and missing life back in the village. Meanwhile his girl (Del-ia) has gotten together with another of the childhood gang (Tiqua), while the remaining person of the childhood gang (Waduda) has just become a father. The main bad guy gets resurrected in a pretty awesome scene that used levitation in the act! He gets the bad guys to rally up their forces once again. Ray-an comes back for a visit to his village and finds out his dear girl has gotten together with his friend. Del-ia accepts but later rejected Tiqua's proposal and then he gets angry, gets mad and eventually becomes one of the bad guys, finding out the main bad guy is his father. Oh lol.
Long story short. Tiqua kills Waduda. Villages gets pissed off at Ray-an for causing trouble to their village, gives him to the bad guys. Good guys come to fight. Big fight. Bad guys about to win, main bad guy about to kill Ray-an, but Tiqua kills the main bad guy and his girl. He's about to kill a cowardly villager but kills Ray-an when he jumps to protect the coward. Coward summons enough courage and kills Tiqua. End. Happy ending, despite all the deaths. And Del-ia remains the only one left alive from the childhood group. Lol.
Of course, that was a very brief summary. Watching it would be much better and informative, since there was a lot more that I left out. But like I said, the storyline impressed me a lot more than Chromeheart. Revelation was a huge step forward in acting, story, settings and effects. The guy who resurrected the bad guy in the drama is actually a performing magician, and he used actual flames in his hands and that levitation trick to great effect. In addition were the professional fight choreographers who helped make the fight scenes very realistic and well done. There were a lot more stunts too, compared to before and it was just awesome. Really proud of my church for doing this! Of course, the main point was Easter. After the drama Pastor Kevin had a short sermon talking about the drama, and why he didn't do the traditional drama of Jesus being crucified and resurrected. He talked about how he wanted to try something new, and something different that people could enjoy, yet relate to when it came to the feelings of the different characters. So Esther, his wife came up with the entire concept and script. Eitan, their 5 year old son even suggested that characters drop in from the sky, and what do you know, they even added that in Chromeheart: Revelation. Pastor Kevin then reminded us that we all feel different kinds of things like the various characters felt, and although that might have been a drama, in real life we know how it is. Then he went on to say that Easter was a reminder that although we have so much troubles and all these confusing emotions, Jesus is here and died for us 2000 years ago. That's it. It was such a simple sermon, yet when he made an altar call, a huge amount of people went. The crowd for the service was crazy anyway. I reached at 10am exactly (when the service starts) and I barely managed to squeeze into the last 2 rows at the top of the terraces. Normally when I reach at 10am I can still find plenty of space. Yeah, I guess the publicity generated by the newspapers got some of the public to attend. Yikes.
Simply amazing. My church. My home. My God.
After service I hung out with my cellgroup taking pictures and chatting up people in the church lobby, as there was a bazaar and some merchandise being sold. Chris from my band had attended, and so had Susan, who was invited by Sharon. The cellgroup wanted to eat, but so did Sharon and Susan... and since I see my cellgroup a whole lot more than Sharon and Susan (although about equal the last 4 weeks), I decided to have lunch with the girls instead. We went to Puchong and met up with Ethan and his friend Ryan, who were having dimsum. Had hilarious chats and it was nice to have a meal and conversation with the rest (minus Sharon) completely sober. 'Cause everytime I've seen them, there was always alcohol involved. That lunch was perhaps the first one where hot tea was the only drink. Lmao.
Well. That was more or less the events on my weekend. Drink on Good Friday and attend church on Sunday, to watch Chromeheart: Revelation. Well worth it!
And not forgetting to thank Jesus Christ for dying 2000+ years back. Although we ended up Christianizing a pagan festival to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus, the fact remains that the evidence concerning the resurrection is really compelling, and therefore, so is my faith in Jesus. Well-rested on historical and scriptural evidence, I am well assured. Thank you
יֵשׁוּעַ.
Fallen
1:03 AM
in the grip of darkness
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Aiks... came back from drinking with Sharon and Susan.
I don't quite know why I want to blog right after the event. Normally I blog about things after they happen. Perhaps it'd be interesting to see hwo honest I am under the influence of alcohol, and to see how many typocs I make. I see a few already. Crap.
So while I was on the way to Sunway to hang out with Symposium, Sharon called me and said that Susan and her were drinking at Changkat again, and asked me along. After confirming I was able to use the car, I agreed. Miki drove me back home and I got ready and left, arriving pretty late. The non-Netherlands guy was there, who's name I finally remember; Ethan. A Greek Caucasian was there was well, named Steve as well as another Joseph who was a colleague of Susan and Sharon. We went to Never Mine again, but after drinking a bit we headed to Havana to meet Ben, a friend of theirs who invited us to drink with his table!
I met Ben previously, and he was extremely generous with the alcohol. This time, it was no different. He offered us Jagerbombs again, as well as Skyy Vodka and for me, some drink that tasted like a Mojito with no mint, but I wasn't sure what the hell it was. Well, had a great chat with everyone, and talked about stupid stuff. Sharon initially didn't want to drink with Ben because she thought he wasn't interested, despite so much effort from her. So I had to be the middleman and keep drinking with him! (I didn't mind at all). Sharon and Susan got drunk pretty fast and were dancing with me, but I hadn't drank enough so I didn't grind them or anything. Not even basic dancing... haha. They kept putting their arms around me, which while I didn't mind, I could see that Steve and Ben weren't too pleased. Eh, I guess I can't say too much here. Lol. But they're cool with me.
Weird drinking night though. Normally my head gets buzzed and fuzzy long before my stomach feels the need to puke. Tonight however, my head were clear as hell but my stomach felt the effects of the alcohol long before the buzz came in. Is that how Skyy Vodka works? Or was it the amount I drank? Mojito, long island, that weird thing Ben offered me, Jagerbombs, and lots and lots of Skyy Vodka. Heck. All that alcohol got everyone very honest. One person confessed his feelings to a girl. One girl confessed her feelings to a guy, and got attached an hour later. Susan told me that she was very impressed with me, because I was very smart and because I was a virgin. LOL. She meant it in the sense that I kept to my vows and ideals without giving in, and yeah. Lmao.
Only towards the very ending of the night did I eventually get that buzz, and that's when Sharon kissed me. Tasty; I like.
Fallen
5:05 AM
in the grip of darkness
Sunday, April 1, 2012
It's been quite a long time since I've had a lazy Saturday to myself all day, just slacking and sleeping and doing whatever I want (mostly sleep). The last four Saturdays though, have been packed! I didn't blog about them yet; they're basically it more of my alcohol stories, lol. They've been some of the more interesting highlights the past few weeks.
A few weeks back I went for Underoath's concert in Kuala Lumpur. I'm not actually a fan of them, but they are quite recognized in the metalcore/hardcore scene, and their music is not bad. Joseph asked a few of us to go, for experience and as a musical reference. In the end, only Sharon (Payne) and I joined Joseph. My colleague Matt and his brother also came along, and Oli and Wei Ling also came along too.
The venue's KL Live. Pretty nice place with great aircon!
The gig itself was pretty good. Opening bands were Tres Empres, 2Side1BRAIN and Love Me Butch. 2Side1BRAIN's a Japanese post-hardcore band, and were perhaps the best opening band. Full of energy, and very charismatic on stage, with great showmanship. Not bad songs either. Anyhoo, after them, Underoath had a soundcheck. For one freaking hour. Geez. I don't know what the hell was going on but lots of people weren't happy waiting an hour doing nothing. Quite a number sat down on the floor, making less room for the rest of us standing up. Zzz. The lights finally turned off after an hour, and Underoath played. This was perhaps my craziest gig yet. The amount of stagediving was lessened, but how they jumped was even more insane. Lots of idiots ran up to the stage to take vanity shots with the band members, and lots more tore at the vocalist's shirt, until it looked like a hanging rag exposing his nipple. Walls of death, Malaysian-style hardcore dancing in the back and a hell lot of moshing, pushing, sweating and dodging stagedivers. Very fun! There was moment that Kevin Cottie Tan was with Joseph, Sharon and I and it was a City Harvest Church circle for a while. Lol.
Anyhoo, after lots of sweating, headbanging and moshing, they finished with "Writings on the Wall". They played pretty short though, about an hour as well, which felt like a ripoff considering the tickets were over a hundred and the soundcheck was as long as the gig. But it was good nonetheless. We headed to Sharon's friend house later, Susan's. They were planning on going to drink at Changkat and invited me, so I followed them.
We went to a bar called Never Mine. It was already 2am, so it was pretty late and it didn't last long. But we did have a fun time in that short time span. Joseph taught us a cigarette drinking game (no smoking involved), and later we played I Have Never, and I more or less discovered a big portion of all their sex lives and history. And because I was the only virgin, there was a lot less to discover on my part, and a lot more to to theirs. Oh man, haha! Because of the game itself, we talked thoroughly about the things they did, and everyone was so honest with the alcohol, so yeah. Very interesting night getting to know everyone better, especially Sharon and Susan, since I didn't know them that well.
Yeah, I got to know Sharon way too much. And in the later weeks, much more as well.
The week after that I joined them again at Changkat. It was random. We had band jamming and after jamming Joseph asked if I wanted to join them again. I didn't have any initial plans (Symposium asked me out when I already made my plans), so I joined along again. We went to Changkat again, and for some reason went to Never Mine again and drank. Met a few new people as well. So I already knew Sharon, Susan and Joseph. I was introduced to Juliet and her boyfriend (can't remember your name, sorry) and Sam and another guy (can't remember your name either). We started off with beers and basic conversation, but after a few tequila shots and some other stuff I don't recall, we were all saying stupid stuff. Became much easier to chat after that, and sexual jokes were the highlight of the night. We also met Ben later on, a British astrophysicist working here. He was having a party with some other Europeans upstairs. He asked some of us to join them for a while and gave us some jagerbombs. Hell yeah! After hitting on Niza, a Hungarian (or Croatian, can't remember), the Europeans were getting drunk and making out with one another, plus we didn't want to leave the others for too long, so Sharon and I went back with the rest. The girls were all dancing, and later I was forced to persuade Ben to join us for another round of tequila shots, because someone smiled like a horny little kid when he was talking to her. Anonymous, but I think its pretty obvious.
Outside of Zouk, drunk, and posing while I took a picture. Why did I take a picture? I don't know.
I thought that was the end of the night, but nopes, at 2am, someone came up with the bright idea to go to Zouk. And high as we were, a few of us went. Joseph, Sharon, Susan, Sam and I, plus a new addition who met us at Zouk. I also forgot his name. LOL. Susan, drunk as hell, swiped her credit card to buy a bottle. And so we went inside! We headed to Velvet and drank. I actually didn't plan to dance, but somewhere along the way Susan started stripping me and danced with me. Yeah, she kept unbuttoning my shirt while dancing. Impressive -.-. So I did dance in the end, along with grinding and making out with her neck, chest and hair (her long hair kept getting in the way). Because of her hair it was too annoying to move on to the lips, so meh. The strangers around us who weren't dancing were laughing like hell seeing her unbutton my shirt; didn't help she did this more than once. Eh, it was nice though. Ahem. She's got really soft and tender skin.
And she loses at the cigarette game quite a lot. Oh, and I was surprised to discover that Zouk was still open at 5:30am.
That's all? Nopes, one more time! Haha! Last week Symposium went to Genting, but Forsake Me Not was auditioning a new vocalist so it wasn't appropriate to miss. After the successful auditioning of Prthiv, we had a meal and chilled out for a while. Sharon asked me whether I was joining them later, to which I asked, join them for? She said they were drinking at Changkat again, so I agreed. Nothing to do at home anyway, and they're fun drinking people too, so I decided to join in once again. Joseph didn't come this time, but instead with Sharon and Susan, I met two guys, and guess what? I forgot their names again! I only know one an Indonesian from the Netherlands, and the other is a local from KL. We planned to go to Raggae Bar but we were stopped by the Never Mine staff and told about a 2 for 1 promotion, which we took. So yeah, again, for 3 weeks straight I've been going to Never Mine. Lol.
The non-Netherlands guy, whose name I can't remember, and Susan.
Wasn't so crazy this time round. The Netherlands guy kept paying for our drinks, and we drank quite a lot too. But it was more chilled out, playing the cigarette drinking game I learned from them the first time we drank together. Late in the night, Susan was dancing with/on me while I was sitting down, so that was enjoyable, although I hadn't drank enough to dance, so I was mostly the taker, greedy in the sense I took but didn't give, lol.
Metaphorically.
Fallen
12:58 AM
in the grip of darkness
Monday, March 26, 2012
Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol. Lmao. I've been drinking every weekend for the last 4 weeks. And in some of them, I died.
Firstly, earlier in the month, Miki, Ruz and Eddie had their graduation ceremony. Symposium, with Nick Choi, (bloody cute) Stephanie and InJune came to give our support. Well, long story short, we cheered, took pictures and clapped a lot. While the various majors were going in, we clapped and cheered, while shouting out the names of people we knew. And then when Tatsun Hoi and the rest of the lecturers walked in, we cheered like idiots and yelled Tatsun's name. Haha!
Afterwards, we hung out at Borneo Rainforest, which, despite being right behind TOA, I've never been to in my life. The environment is really nice and chilling! But the prices and quantities for the food are ridiculous. We played pool and shisha-ed for a few hours waiting while the actual ceremony was going on.
After everyone was done, Redzuan told us that his sister had asked him to join her at a club in the Sheraton hotel. He was hanging out with us, so he asked if we could come along. She said yes. Oh, and she said that it was free, free flow alcohol too. We headed to the Sheraton, and went to a club called Sixty3, in the Liquid Room. We met a bunch of celebrities, firstly, Redzuan's sister Sarimah of Disney Channel and Red FM fame, the Red FM boss, some new singer who's being pushed as a new Justin Bieber, and a few others who I can't really recall.
The beer was free flow up for a short while, and the first hard liquor we drank was a shot of Patron. That's apparently a legendary drink that killed Redzuan and Maxi a few weeks back. It tastes really nice! It's strong, pleasant and really tasty. Coffee-ish. Either way, pretty awesome. Anyhoo, at first I was concerned that we wouldn't have enough, because we were essentially being parasites to this group's alcohol. But after many shots of Patron, and continuous towers of beer that kept coming, Redzuan remarked "Still don't think we have enough, Howe? Fuc* you"... LOL.
James was drunk, and dancing the "Para Para". He kept bragging about how the girls around kept looking at him. Of course girls (and everyone) would look at you when you do the Para Para in a club.
We danced quite a bit, and apparently a few of us headbanged too. Haha! I got to know some of the other people there, and sat at the table drinking, and drinking and drinking. Then I sat beside this cute chick called Nora, and began flirting. No, I don't recall what I said; that's pretty much all I remember. Oh, I squeezed her sides a few times and she gave me a few playful slaps on my face too. Now that is all that I remember. Then I died. Lol. Although that's all I remember, the rest remembered a lot more. They said that when everyone drank together, I grabbed a bottle of Patron and drank straight from it, with the cap still on, and I acted like it burned my throat. HAHAHA. Oh man! I can't believe I did that kinda crap! They said I fell asleep on the couch too. Geez. Somehow though, I managed to guide Andrew back to my house safely and properly. Hmmmm. I'm a good drunk driver, and apparently, I'm a good drunk GPS as well.
Oh, and that stupid bottle thing I did? Nora was actually impressed! Lawl.
Fallen
2:38 AM
in the grip of darkness
